Fleas of a thousand camels

There is this a*hole jer*ff who goes to the same gym I do.  Said person would put a towel on a bench, thereby occupying it, and put cellphone next to the free weights, as though to demarcate territory.  Then said person would go do other exercises, often for a good half hour.  Thus taking over half the f**king gym.

See picture below.

See the towel and cell placement?

Chunski can be expected to call them out, and threaten their future offsprings.  Unfortunately, the person is a canine of the opposite gender.  Many better men than I have tried to "deal" with such animals, and all have failed miserably.  Chunski is not about to do that.  I did however slam 50 pounders hard on the floor next to the cell, spit on her phone, and drip sweat onto the towel.  Just saying.  Sometimes, sadly, small victories are one can claim.

In the immortal words of Johnny Carson (if you actually who he is, you are seriously dating yourself), "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your ____ (name whatever body part you like)."