Of Morons and Assholes

Am I beginning to sound like some bitter old guy?  At the risk of that, I am taking advantage of this massively popular blog (yeah, right) to espouse another one of my diatribes.

Morons.  I actually find them cute.  I mean, so they are stupid, but I chalk it up to ignorance.  For example, those who believe profit maximization is a thing.  Or those who think the poor choose to be poor.  Or those who think it's okay to throw shit on the road.  OK, maybe not so much the latter, but still...

Assholes, on the other hand, well, there's no excuse for that.  These people (to be generous with the term) OUGHT to know better.  In many cases, they DO know better, but choose to be wrong.  These are people who should be skinned alive and hung up to dry.  With salt on their wounds.

What are some examples of assholes?  Let's do this:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE IF YOU...

1.   Ride a bicycle but think traffic laws don't apply to you.  You're one of those who ride on the sidewalk, never stop at stop signs, think you have the right of way over pedestrians, or think you're superior because you ride a fucking bike.  Well, guess what, you're not.  I bloody walk, and that's more work and more eco-friendly than your motherfucking bike.

2.   Walk while doing shit on the phone.  You don't fucking OWN the sidewalk.  Watch where the fuck you're going, you shithead.  I NEVER give way to these motherfuckers.  They can bump into me if they want.  Well, I shouldn't say NEVER, because they are bigger than me, I don't want to be the Titanic hitting an iceberg.  I'm not that stupid.

3.   Drive while texting and shit.  You know you're not as good a driver as you think you are.  You might care about your life, since you're basically a worthless piece of shit anyway.  But others do.  If I were a cop, I'd ticket every motherfucker who text while driving.  No shit.

4.   Drive on the left lane as if you own the fucking highway.  No need to say more.

5.   Complain about being poor while drinking your $6 Starbucks Latte and wearing designer jeans.  Shut the fuck up.  Start paying your own bills and you're quickly find out what being poor means.

6.   Look down on other people because you think you're above them.  The fact you do so means you're not superior.

7.   You take a perfectly fine College and run it to the fucking ground.

8.   People who write blogs and trash other people (I never said I'm not an asshole, right?).

There are others, I'm sure, and dear Reader you can feel free to add more types of assholes in the comments.


BUT, you know what, folks, there's another category that's worse.  I don't remember who said this, but, "The only one worse than an asshole is one who doesn't know he's one."

Yeah, and don't give me this shit about gender here.  I am not going to say she/he in something like this, nor will I bastardize a singular by using "they."  Yeah, I do READ and I know things.

I must be having a bad day.  Or perhaps just lacking caffeine....