Once upon a time, there was a college that prospered in its own niche. Then along came a big bad wolf in sheep's clothing. Self-destruct sequence initiated, only the wolf had an escape pod while everyone else perished in its wake.
The wolf had told a docile audience: listen to me and we'll prosper for another 100 years. Like hell.
First the wolf said, "Let's become a nationally LIBERAL ARTS college. Never mind that we are now #4 in our region. We need to be NATIONAL, and focus on our roots in the Liberal Arts."
So the college became a nationally-ranked liberal arts college. Ranked in the mid 130s. Yes, that was a major improvement over being ranked #4. Right.
And Liberal Arts? Let's get more students who want a liberal arts degree. Give them more scholarships. Move resources away from job-related degrees like, oh, say, business! Maybe even merge our business degree program with fucking continuing education (well, at least that didn't happen. Yet).
Next, let's build a new gym. That will be the saviour. People will want to come because we have a new gym. Never mind that the indoor track won't meet track standards. Minor details, no? Who cares. The wolf can claim on his resume that he has built new buildings. What better than to have monuments constructed during his tenure?
Oh, did I mention that the new gym costs tens of million that the college didn't have? And, no surprise there, comes in way over-budget? If you build it, they will come. Right. Right?
And to make sure the college can manage all this astronomical growth, a newer, bigger, more peopled administrative infrastructure is needed. More administrators. More departments. More directors and VPs. If you have enough generals, all will be well.
Fast forward a few years. The college's enrolment kept falling. Focusing away from business worked very well. Far fewer people wanted to come to the college for a business degree. Trouble was, not many wanted to come for liberal arts either.
So, LIBERAL ARTS majors and minors were canned. Really? A brethren college getting rid of peace and conflict studies? And no more philosophy. Or theatre. Or film studies. So how does this jibe with being a nationally ranked liberal arts college? My ASS!
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| Take your gym and shove it up your ass! |
The new gym, oh pardon me, FIELD HOUSE, is but a FIELD of dreams. No, nightmares. Seriously, if you choose a college primarily because of a gym, there's something REALLY wrong with you. Hell, go to a big D1 school instead. They would have five gyms or something.
Who's left holding the bag? People got laid off. Departments got closed. Degree programs got cancelled. Administrators? Let's create some more! What a racket.
At Mobil, we used to do marketing audits. You propose a strategy, state the objectives, and we check afterwards to see if you achieve your objectives. If not, heads roll. At the college, heads do roll. Just not the big bad wolf's head. Let the little guys pay for your mistakes. And then blame the environment.
Why do people stop buying your product? Oh wait, did I tell you I am a bit of a marketing specialist? Anyway, they don't buy your brand because your brand is a Me Too brand, and does not offer anything important and useful. Marketing 101. Harvard marketing prof Younge Moon said too many companies do things to make them the SAME as everyone else. What they should do is to be different. DIFFERENTIATION is the holy grail of marketing. Something the big bad wolf was oblivious to. There was only one person on campus with a PhD in marketing. Would the college even want to get this person's opinions on things marketing? Hell, no. Better be a fucking ostrich and just do motherfucking advertising instead.
In feudal Japan, generals who failed would kill themselves to preserve their honour and to atone for their sins. That's leadership. Where's the leadership at the college?
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| Go FUCK yourself! |
Sorry, just ranting.
